Tips for Newlyweds

Newlyweds are recipients of gifts, but also advice –requested or not! If you are married or have been, it is natural to desire to pass on some of the knowledge that has kept your relationship afloat, despite life’s surprises. Here are some tips –genuine and useful –for that couple close to you:

  • Stay true to yourself as a couple.
    • Well-intentioned people suffocate just-married couples with advice about kids, marriage, what to do or not. That’s great, except, each pair is different. Whatever worked for your cousin, it may not work for you. Listen, but before acting upon it, keep your true natures intact.
    • Be aware that life will get hard. No one should start a marriage, thinking it will all be “downhill” from that point. On the contrary, love grows, and couples get closer with time. But, it would be naïve to ignore the fact that life is unpredictable — no matter the what or the when give priority to your couple.
    • Communicate
    • Can this be any triter? Maybe, but also true. When we hear the word “communication” we imagine a couple trying to resolve a fight or complaining about something that’s bothering one of the parts. All of this is necessary, but communication goes beyond that. It is about talking about each other’s day, how awful his boss was, how great the pasta tasted, childhood fears, weird phobias, naughty confessions. Everything! This is your better half; there’s no real bonding unless you connect on a spiritual level. Pour your soul, not just your brains out.
    • Learn how to fight
      • Isn’t the point of marriage, love? To be happy? Of course. But there will no happiness unless you learn how to bicker, debate, dispute. Healthy, loving couples have mastered the art of fighting. It is one thing, to be honest, and another one to be brutally blunt to the point of being hurtful. Give each other a timeout. Burst in laughter when the argument becomes silly. Learn how to leave an issue behind you. Forgive. Many couples succumb because the smallest of arguments turn into a spiral of insults that scar the relationship.
      • Kiss
        • Yes. Often, deeply, for more than one second. We, as humans, crave human contact. Nothing brings more consolation than a real, tight embrace from the person you love the most. The flame will flicker non-stop at the beginning, but unless you consciously keep it that way, things tend to get colder. So, when you get home, before falling asleep, before leaving your house: kiss. Touch, embrace, connect! There is no such thing as “too much love”. This is your chance, so, take it!