How to Make Reindeer Food

How to Make Reindeer Food That Will Make Your Family Flip

Mr. B and I were catching up on The Real Housewives of Atlanta the other day (and murmuring about how the show used to be a lot better in the old Nene, Kim, and Sheree days) when Mr. B paused the show. I expected him to say something like, “Why do I have to watch this? Why can’t you just watch this on your own and let me go watch my own thing, and then we’ll reconvene?” I expected this, because he tends to pause the show at least once every episode to recite this plea. I, in turn, shake my head and motion for him to unpause the show. Is that mean? Too bad!

But this time he didn’t want to complain about his lot in life, he wanted to tell me a joke. A very lame joke.

“How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?” he asked.

Me, wondering why he was bringing this up in the middle of September, reply, “I dunno, how much?”

“About eight bucks,” he said. “Nine, if there’s bad weather.”

I guess it would have been (slightly) funnier if I’d actually gotten it right off the bat, but there was some disconnect in my mind between bucks – meaning dollars – and bucks – meaning male deer, so I just stared at him until he turned the show back on. I got it a few minutes later, and I suppose I thought it was cute enough to share with you today, but come on. Reindeer jokes? Am I ten?

Well, here is a recipe for reindeer food that is no joke.

How to Make Reindeer Food That Will Bring Santa to Your House Early

You’ll need about 20 minutes to prepare this snack, another 30 minutes to let it cool, and then about 16 seconds to wolf it all down. No, it makes approximately 24 servings, so you and your family should be good to go for a few days, at least. Warning, though: This stuff is GOOD.

Here’s what you’ll need:

– 20 ounces of miniature pretzels

– A 17oz package of Corn Chex or another similar kind of crispy cereal

– 16 ounces of salted dry-roasted peanuts

– 14 ounces of M&Ms or the generic equivalent (though IS there a substitute that’s really equivalent?)

– 24 ounces of chopped white chocolate

– Wax Paper

– A large bowl

– A double boiler

Begin by mixing your pretzels, peanuts, Chex, and M&Ms together in a large bowl. Then, melt your white chocolate pieces together in your double boiler. You’ll want to stir this mixture frequently to keep the melting process working smoothly and evenly. If you don’t keep it moving, you risk burning the chocolate along the sides and bottom of the pot. When the chocolate is fully melted, pour it into the bowl and mix it together with your candy and nuts.

At this point, you can transfer the entire mixture to a sheet of wax paper. I like to simply tape a long sheet of the paper to the counter for this part. Spread it all out evenly in a thin layer and allow it to come to a complete cooldown. Once this has happened, you can get in there, break it up into individual pieces, and move the final treat into the refrigerator in an airtight container!

That’s all there is to it – don’t let the reindeer eat too much!